How to Keep the Sparkle in Your Marriage

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22 (NLT).

Smiling brides and grooms approach the marriage altar thrilled to have found a priceless treasure in each other. The glimmer of new rings can’t compare with the glow of new love.

After the honeymoon, life becomes busy. Pressures pile on. The meshing of two wills isn’t easy or romantic. When the sparkle turns to sparks, how do couples keep love’s flame burning?

The meshing of two wills isn't easy or romantic. When the sparkle turns to sparks, how do couples keep love's flame burning? #Love, #marriage Share on X

Treasure Your Gift

It’s important to remember—especially when we feel frustrated or disappointed—that marriage is a gift from God. Your mate is a treasure. You are valuable to each other. Not only do you support and strengthen one another, but you also sharpen each other.

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” When sparks fly, we need to remember God is using our partner to polish us.

Hebrews 12:11 says God uses difficulties to train us so we can enjoy the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

How would viewing your marriage as a sacred gift help you navigate the trying aspects of it?

Learn to Dance

Beautiful ballroom dancers move as one. The process of becoming one in marriage forces us to face our selfish sides in ways we never had to as singles. It’s no longer about what is best for me or even what is best for my mate, but what is best for us.

When I had roommates, I had my stuff and my roommate had hers. I decided how to use and care for my stuff. But when I married, my stuff became our stuff. And my husband didn’t always have the same regard on how to treat my our stuff!

With a roommate, I could go to my own room when I needed space. When I married, my room was also his room. When I was single, I chose my own schedule without having to check in with anyone. After marriage, I needed to coordinate with him before committing myself.

In marriage, God uses our differences to shape us into the image of His Son. Our human nature resists this refinement. But God is teaching us to dance in the power of His Spirit. He uses our “treasure” to enhance our beauty.

Secure Your Friendship

Secure your marriage by protecting and deepening your friendship with each other after marriage. Pull for each other and remember you and your spouse are on the same team. Date after marriage. If God grants children, carve out one-on-one time. Don’t let your children become the hub of your relationship.

Friendship is worth scheduling. Spend time daily connecting eye to eye and sharing loads and laughs. Take walks, play, pray, and do something you both like. Don’t let the demands of life steal closeness.

It’s normal for feelings to fluctuate. But solid marriages aren’t erected on fickle feelings. As we build our relationships in Christ’s power on the foundation of truth, we discover marriage to be a greenhouse for security, satisfaction, and sanctification.

Two are better than one….Though one person may be overpowered by another, two people can resist one opponent. A triple-braided rope is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 12 GW).

Lighthouse Ministries is here to help you keep the sparkle in your relationships. For relationship coaching or counseling contact Larry at 919 469-2477.

Comment: What tip do you have for keeping the sparkle in a marriage?



7 Tips for Greather Intimacy in Marriage

3 Ways to Secure Your Marriage

5 Ways to Protect Yourself in Romance

12 Magic Minutes—a Gift for the One You Love

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

Sometimes I link with these great sites:

Tea &Word Tuesday, #Kelly Balarie & Friends#Recharge Wednesday, #Coffee for Your Heart, #TuneinThursaday, #HeartEncouragment #Dance with Jesus, #FreshMarketFriday

More From This Category

Spiritual Bonding Made Simple

Spiritual Bonding Made Simple

Do you have a way of connecting spiritually with those you love? My husband Larry shares an exercise he uses with couples he counsels. “Holy Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are” (Jn 17:11 NASB 1995). Is...

read more



  1. Ann Musico

    Wonderful post Debbie. It’s especially relevant as my daughter is getting married in September so these thoughts are definitely in my mind. Having been married for 36 years this July I can honestly say it has not always been easy or fun (and still has its moments) but I couldn’t have chosen anyone better for me and I’m grateful every day for the life we have together. We just were blessed with another grandchild last week and that we are together, and healthy and able to enjoy our growing family is beyond a blessing. I know all too many people who are not.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Ann, congratulations! And that puts it all in perspective. When we are able to work together there is great reward on the other side.

  2. Pam Ecrement

    So well said by someone who has walked through marriage into a greater season of maturity and wisdom. I added sparkle to our 54+ year marriage recently by a gift I gave my hubby for Christmas. It was a beautiful box that was decorated by its pattern so no need for paper, but there was a bow. Inside there was a letter telling my hubby that it was a box of dates. Inside were two sealed note cards with dates for December 2018 and January 2019. Each had to be used by the end of the designated month. Placing the box on the file cabinet in our den would mean the note cards for February and March would be placed in the box. The note for the month can only be opened on the first day of that month and can be used any time during the month unless otherwise designated.

    I have chosen and planned a variety of dates doing things or going to places that are ones he has never been or hasn’t been for quite some time. Most are not expensive, but whatever the cost is already handled with a gift card enclosed in the note with the date information.

    December 2018 was a coffee date to a new Italian coffee shop and bakery that I discovered. January 2019 was a walking date with breakfast and coffee afterwards at another new place in our area that he had never seen. February is a lunch date to a restaurant he has never visited. March is a target shooting date with coffee afterward. April is a musical date with a trip to Cleveland to see Phantom of the Opera. May is an hour drive to an estate with an incredible tulip display. And so on and so on throughout the year into December 2019 when we will celebrate 55 years of marriage.❤️

    • Debbie Wilson

      Pam, that’s an ebook or lead magnet!! What wonderful ideas. I’m not so creative, so I want to try your ideas. Thanks so much for sharing your spendid wisdom. How wonderful that after 54 years you are enjoying and looking forward to your dates!

  3. Donna Reidland

    Good marriages don’t come naturally but pushing through leads to a relationship that is so much better than we can imagine. Thanks for sharing these important principles.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Donna, thanks for adding your words of wisdom.

  4. Lauren Sparks

    A good reminder of the real purpose of marriage – to make us more like Him.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Amen, Lauren! He uses this special relationship to bless and stretch us.

  5. Katherine Pasour

    Your comment that our spouse “sharpens” us is right on target. I think I got sharpened so much early in my marriage that is was nearly ground down to a nubbin. But, I needed that (I didn’t think so at the time). I’m just so thankful that God had patience with me and that my husband is so faithful to God and family. One strategy that has helped me through the trials is to look for the best in our partner. Don’t dwell on the negative or that is all we will see.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Katherine, that is great advice. What we focus on truly grows bigger in our eyes.

  6. Melissa Henderson

    One thing my husband and I do often is hold hands. We hold hands while walking in parking lots, on the beach, in stores and other places. There have been times when people will call us “cute” or “sweet” and that is wonderful. We love each other and we will be married for 40 years on March 3, 2019. 🙂

    • Debbie Wilson

      Melissa, I think holding hands is wonderful. My husband and I do that too! Thanks for that.

Refreshing Faith Blog

Pin It on Pinterest