A Surprising Hope to Cure Indecision

Perhaps you can relate to a woman I’ll call Harriet. Fear of making the wrong decision kept recently widowed and retired Harriet in a state of indecision.

download (1)Photo by: Ismael Nieto

“I just don’t know what to do!” she exclaimed after presenting her dilemma. “How can I make a decision when I don’t even know what I want?”

“I think you know what you want,” I said. “I’ve heard you say it several times. But every time you express what you want, you follow with ‘But I don’t want anyone to be disappointed or angry.’”

Harriet’s eyes widened. “So is it all right to be selfish?”

I found it ironic that Harriet felt selfish wanting to make healthy choices for herself. If pursuing her dreams left anyone angry or disappointed then she concluded she must be selfish. She didn’t deny that these people were using her, but somewhere she’d picked up the notion that godliness meant sacrificing herself for anyone who asked—even if the askers were being self-serving.

After further discussion, I asked, “Was your father strict?” Her animated response let me know we’d struck a memory.

“He wouldn’t let me do anything I wanted to do. Not even read library books. But he did what he wanted.”

Bingo. Harriet’s guilty feelings came from her relationship with her earthly father, not from her heavenly Father. Isn’t it amazing that decades-old wounds have the power to manipulate us today?

But we don’t have to let our wounds hold us hostage. Jesus said the truth sets us free. Look at these truths concerning our heavenly Father:

  • “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matt. 7:9-11 NIV).
  • “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:16-17 NIV).
  • “The Lord your God is with you,the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zeph. 3:17 NIV).


Harriet’s eyes misted with the realization that her heavenly Father cared about her desires and wanted to give her good gifts. She promised to bring her desires to Him and trust Him to lead her in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Believing lies about God had paralyzed her with indecision. Believing God loves her put a smile on Harriet’s face and confidence in her heart that He would direct her steps. It will do the same for you!

Question: How would your life be different if you believed your heavenly Father was for you?

Click here to comment.


Debbie W. Wilson


What You Need to Know About Your Father

Coming soon: Little Women, Big God!

Second photo by: Catherine McMahon

Sometimes I link up with these great sites:

#SharingHisbeauty, #TestimonyTuesday, #IntentialTuesday, #TuesTalk, #Tell it to me Tuesdays, #A Little R & R Wednesdays #w2wwordfilledwednesday, #Wedded Wednesday, #Women with Intention,  #LivefreeThursday#Grace and Truth,

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  1. Susie Browne

    I would be able to enjoy the “freedom in Christ”. He is the truth and the truth sets me free. I would be free from fear or worries if I believed our Heavenly Father is for me.
    ” If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

    • Debbie Wilson

      Amen, Susie! His truth does set us free. What an awesome God to care for us.

  2. Amy Nowak

    I would be full of peace (which I am even though it may not always look that way) and know, no matter what, that ultimate goodness opens or closes every door, and trust would (does!) rule my life.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Beautiful, Amy! That is how our Lord wants us to live. Bless you, my friend.

  3. Sandi

    Thanks for this insight today. I find myself worrying about others opinions too often rather than seeking God’s approval. And yes, I can trace it back to my childhood. Scary how the past stays with us. But, thanks for reminding me to RUN TO GOD,

    • Debbie Wilson

      Sandi, thankfully, we can be transformed by the renewing of our out minds. I’m glad to hear you are running to God! That is the best place to be.

  4. Pam

    Hi Debbie!
    It has revolutionized my life on so many levels. It is a sad truth that the impact of our parents for good, bad, and everything in between so impacts our relationship with the Lord and we believe about Him and ourselves.

    This is excellent!

    Thanks, Debbie!

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, Pam. I know you have seen this in your ministry too. Sometimes I can more easily recognize it in others than in myself. Thankful for His transforming power!

  5. Lux G.

    Our past does not define our future but it sure does affect it.
    This is really insightful.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you Lux!

  6. Beth

    Oh yes, there is much confusion on these kinds of issues, Debbie. I’m so glad you helped this woman to see that healthy boundaries and limitations are truly “loving.” And I love how you’ve given her insight into her past as well as bringing in the healing of our Savior to her heart. There’s so much we need to surrender at His feet. I’m just so glad you helped her to see that. Great thoughts, my friend! I’ll be sharing!

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, Beth. And you are right. “There’s so much we need to surrender at His feet.”

  7. Ann

    Debbie that is so much more common, especially among women I think, than we realize. I had a friend who felt it was selfish to take a walk or go to a quilting class because she could’ve been doing something for her family during that time instead. I tried to explain that by doing something to keep herself healthy and fulfilled she was doing something wonderful for her family, but sadly she never could quite get that.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Oh, Ann, that is sad. You told her the truth. I’m sorry she didn’t listen to you. I bet her whole family would have benefited!

  8. Kristi Woods

    Good morning, Debbie. What a thought-provoking question and post you’ve written. It’s amazing how lies form our steps. But how much more powerful when truth blazes the trail. And as a mom, I find myself in continual check mode for a balance between “me” and “mom”. I’ll be pondering this one for a while today. Enjoying the visit via #livefreeThursday.

  9. Debbie Wilson

    Thank you, Kristi!

  10. Ally | The Speckled Goat

    So good! And so true.

    We’re facing some big decisions, but just knowing that God’s hand is in it and through it all brings such peace, no matter what we choose.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Ally, He promises to lead us on the right path. That comforts me when I’m confused. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Dawn

    I think that many of us are like Harriet. We need to be told, over and over, how much God is for us. These scriptures that you shared are some of my favorites.
    Thank you for linking with Grace and Truth last Friday!

    • Debbie Wilson

      I agree, Dawn. I certainly need to be reminded. Thank you for hosting G & T!

  12. Holly

    Wow, an incredible story.

    We must care for ourselves before we can fully care for others. I see this neglected too often. Perhaps it’s guilt or feeling selfish. Thank you for opening my eyes to this perspective.

    “Isn’t it amazing that decades-old wounds have the power to manipulate us today?” And often, like Harriett, we don’t know they are there.

    Awesome post, Debbie!

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, Holly. Yes, sometimes we can be blind to how our old hurts manipulate us. I believer knowing the character of our Lord brings healing. Blessings to you!

  13. Renee Peebles

    Thankfully, over the past few years through good & godly counsel and The Holy Spirit I have truly believed in my very being that God is for me! For years the lies that had trapped and kept me living in the shadow of others robbed me of true freedom in Christ! Stole my joy in the Lord! But not now I know and believe God is for me! Thank you for being one of those people who helped reveal the lies! So enjoying your new bible study!

  14. Debbie Wilson

    Glory to God, Renee! He is able to set us free and let us know we belong to Him. Blessings, my friend.

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