3 Tips for Finding High Quality Friends

Today Larry offers three tips for finding quality friends.

Author Dan Miller once asked, “Is the music still in you”? If life has become more of a grind than a joy, you may need a friend. Women seem to understand this need more than men. Yet we all need friends. Even Jesus had close friends. If they were important to Him, they are essential for us (Jn. 15:15). That raises a question. How do we find friends who are right for us?

If life has become more of a grind than a joy, you may need a friend. #friendship #refreshingfaith Share on X

Ask God to Connect Us

Before Jesus chose His disciples who would include His inner circle of friends, He spent the night praying to His father (Lk. 6:12, 13). In the following days, He met His new friends in various settings.

One summer in Estes Park, Colorado, I met a young lady from Savannah, Georgia who became the answer to my prayers. After five weeks of dating, I asked her to marry me. Five months later, we were married. I can testify from my life with Debbie and my friendships with men, God chooses the best friends!

Grow Strong with a Purpose

Proverbs offers wisdom on how to choose a good friend. It highlights the importance of moral and spiritual strength (Pro. 17:17, 25:19).

If I am slack in growing personally, I risk losing my purpose and individuality. I become less attractive to myself as well as to those who would be good friends.

A single colleague, I’ll call Sue, wanted to be a wife and mother. She decided to move ahead with her life, enter seminary, and pursue a career which, at the time, was rather uncommon and unwelcoming to women. During the journey, Sue, who had rarely dated, met her husband.

When we’re not growing, we aren’t satisfied with ourselves. Then even a good friend can’t fill that lack. Many friendships have been discovered on people’s journeys to personal growth.

Recalibrate or Remove Unhealthy Friendships

You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. The apostle Paul told Timothy to choose friends who were trustworthy (2 Tim 2:2). Friends can help us soar, or they can cause us to stumble.

After ending an unhealthy relationship, a woman told me she’s back. She’s gotten reconnected with herself, family, and neglected friends. She also has a renewed closeness to God.

It takes courage to step away from an unhealthy friendship. It can feel mean. We fear being alone. Yet second guessing and sadness will end, and the rewards will begin when we are in step with the Lord (Pro. 3:5,6; Matt. 6:33).

If you are lonely, try the suggestions above. Also remember, sometimes God has us go through times without human companions so that we can become closer to Him. He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother (Pro. 18:24, 20:6).

If we can help you with relationship or faith challenges, please contact us. You are important to God and to us.


  • Young adult Muslims are coming to Lighthouse for help. Please pray they receive the help and discover the Person they need.
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Time Sensitive Opportunity

Do you have a loved one who is a prodigal? Whether a family member or close friend, this person’s decision to pursue a reckless life and turn from the people and God who love them can throw us into a living nightmare. What should we do? How can we help them? Larry Wilson, biblical counselor, and founder and director of Lighthouse Ministries will talk to us about how to help rescue our prodigals at the Knowing God online luncheon on Wednesday June 9, 2021. Noon EST. Register here.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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  1. Linda Goldfarb

    So good! Thank you, Larry and Debbie.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, Linda!

  2. Ann J Musico

    This is such an important point for all of us – especially right now when the world is in turmoil and so many families and friends are at odds disagreeing over beliiefs. I am very grateful for the friends God has brought into my life (including Debbie!) and that He chose my husband and I didn’t end up with one of my personal choices!!!!

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, Ann! Yes, I’ve found true friends that share my values and faith on the internet! I’m glad God put you with the right one! God bless you.

  3. CJ

    Thanks Larry. Praying for you as you continue to minister and shine the light of Jesus into others

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, C.J.!

  4. Melissa Henderson

    What a great message! I am thankful for my friends.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Me too, Melissa!

  5. Lauren Renee Sparks

    Great tips. I am certainly blessed with some high quality friends.

    • Debbie Wilson

      What a gift. Thanks, Lauren.

  6. Jerralea

    Great advice, Larry. I especially liked that you pointed out, “Many friendships have been discovered on people’s journeys to personal growth.” Going ahead and pursuing what God has for us can help us find and make new friends who are also interested in the same things.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, Jerralea.

  7. Lisa notes

    I’m so thankful for three precious friends I made in childhood that have all stuck together through adulthood. The grace of God in action!

    • Debbie Wilson

      Wow, Lisa! That is a special gift!

  8. J.D. Wininger

    Great message Mr. Larry. Why am I not surprised sir? Will continue praying for your ministry friends.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Thank you, J.D.

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