According to our culture, love shields people’s sensitive feelings from hurt. According to God, love protects people’s eternal souls from harm. Biblical love won’t support actions and ideals that damage people. Hurt versus harm—there is a world of difference.
When Jesus talked with Peter after he’d denied knowing Christ three times on the night of His betrayal, Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him (John 21:15-19). It hurt Peter that Jesus asked him a third time.
Why would Jesus hurt Peter’s feelings?
Let me ask you something? Do you remember when someone you love hurt your feelings because your actions needed addressing? Years ago, my husband said to me, “Debbie, when you’re overcommitted we all suffer.” I didn’t like what he said. But on reflection, I knew he was right. His hurtful words, spoken in love, provoked positive change.
Jesus had a very important message for Peter. So important He needed to repeat it three times, even though it hurt Peter to hear it three times.
A third time he asked him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time” (Jn. 21:17 NLT).
There was nothing unkind about Jesus’s words. But, they reminded Peter of his weakness and failing. Jesus’s purpose wasn’t to inflict pain. But protecting Peter was more important than shielding Peter, or Himself, from temporary discomfort.
Jesus would soon return to His Father in heaven. Peter was to lead the church. Peter needed to understand that nothing less than loving Jesus most of all could support him for this commission. Love for the sheep, for results, or for the ministry would fail him. But loving Jesus would carry him all the way to his own death.
Beware of Sweet-Sounding Slogans
Today, our culture tests our love for Jesus using the guise of sweet-sounding slogans. It pressures parents to prove their love to their children by celebrating same-sex unions or supporting gender confusion. Workers that ask to be evaluated by their work performance instead of by their ideology are called intolerant. How do we know how to act in today’s world?
The Bible says we don’t have to be “tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming” (Ephes. 4:14 NIV). Knowing and living the truth frees us from the pressure to conform to this world. Love knows that tolerating behavior the Bible calls destructive ultimately causes deeper and longer-lasting pain.
Knowing and living the truth frees us from the pressure to conform to this world. Love knows that tolerating behavior the Bible calls destructive ultimately causes deeper and longer-lasting pain. #wisdom Click To TweetHere is a link to the article “Does the Bible Provide Guidance for Modern Dilemmas?” I wrote for Crosswalk. It addresses the following questions.
- Can I trust my gut?
- How do we know what’s right?
- What is the loving thing to do?
- What does the Bible say about the practice of homosexuality?
- What does the Bible say about genders?
- Why did God create marriage?
- Should I attend my gay relative’s wedding?
I hope you find it helpful, either for yourself or for someone you know confused by today’s current issues. Cultures come and go, “but the word of our God endures forever” (Is. 40:8 NIV).
Blessings,
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#InspireMeMonday, #InstaEncouraements, #TellHisStory and here , #Let’sHaveCoffee, #Recharge Wednesday, #Grace&Truth,
Debbie this is such a wonderful, loving article. I will be saving it and sharing. This world has become a minefield and you are giving us some wonderful weapons to navigate these situations.
Ann, it is startling how much it has shifted in my lifetime. Thanks so much for your encouragement.
Debbie, what wonderful wisdom you offer, refreshing common sense. It’s as if someone might say, “I identify as a hot coal holder.” Telling them that handling hot coals will hurt is the loving thing to say. Thanks and God bless!
Nancy, that is a great illustration. Thank you.
“Love knows that tolerating behavior the Bible calls destructive ultimately causes deeper and longer-lasting pain.” We cause more harm than good when we go along or tolerate what is not biblical. We are called to speak the truth in love with a gentleness that will perhaps lead them to seek Christ.
Yes, that is always the hope, Joanne. I don’t think we have to always speak out, be we certainly don’t need to act like we celebrate what the Bible says is wrong.
It’s not often that you’ll find me running around my den shouting, “Amen.” This post was today’s reason Ms. Debbie. 😀 We MUST speak truth in God’s love my friend. Because it hurts someone’s feelings to hear what is true does not mean that it is not true, or that it was intended to hurt their feelings. Yet, truth must be spoken and that is contrary to everything this world chooses to believe today. I pray daily that I speak God’s truth, a real truth, with love each day. I would rather hurt someone’s feelings today and help them find God’s truth than stand in judgment one day because I chose to consider their feelings over God’s true Word.
J.D., you made me smile. I love how you said, “I pray daily that I speak God’s truth, a real truth, with love each day. I would rather hurt someone’s feelings today and help them find God’s truth than stand in judgment one day because I chose to consider their feelings over God’s true Word.” Reminds me of the watchman on the wall. We are held accountable if we see trouble and refuse to warn. Thanks, J.D.!
You drove a good point home without running roughshod over people. Thank you, Debbie, for speaking the truth in love.
Thank you, Annie!
Great job in dealing with such sensitive subjects. I read both this post and your post at Crossway and heartily agree with both.
It’s better to hurt someone’s feelings now by speaking truth than to be hurt later realizing they didn’t understand the truth.
Jerralea, it is a sensitive area. And for some situations, I empathize with how hard it must be to speak truth. Knowing Jesus loves us all more than we can ever love helps us trust Him. Because His ways are always best.
“Knowing and living the truth” — those words in your message set the directive for our lives. The truth comes from God, and if we live by His message and our actions show it, then we share His love with others and tolerance follows. Not tolerance for evil or actions which harm others, but tolerance for our human weakness. Love given to us by our Lord and Savior allows us to love one another.
Well said! Thank you, Katherine.
Oh Debbie, this is such an important message. We do try to make love and tolerance are not the same. We must love like Christ while leading them towards the truth of Christ. Thanks Debbie
Thank you, Yvonne. Love seeks the eternal best of everyone made in God’s image.
Those can be hard conversations with our husbands, Debbie. It can be difficult for them to even go there. So if/when mine does, I can do nothing but pay attention because it’s sure to be important.
Linda, I hadn’t thought about how hard it might be for them. But I know it is hard for me when I feel I have to say something I know the person probably doesn’t want to hear. Thanks for the reminder.
Debbie,
There is a difference between love and tolerance. Thank you for writing this much needed truth.
Thank you, Lisa.
Fantastic blogpost. Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Link-Up. Sharing.
Thank you, Maree. And Thanks for hosting Grace & Truth.