Stop Stirring Up Anger

by | Jul 30, 2019 | Anger, Battles, Wisdom | 14 comments

Has anger ever gotten the best of you? Today, my AWSA sister and Bible teacher Kathy Collard Miller introduces us to her new study from the book of Proverbs and shares wisdom on how to manage anger.

Here’s Kathy…

As someone who has learned over many years how to diminish the hold of anger, I’m so grateful God inspired Solomon and other writers to pen Proverbs to teach us godly responses about anger and conflict. God knows humans will struggle with many areas of life. The battle began in the Garden of Eden and has never stopped.

After Adam and Eve sinned, destruction began with the murder of one son by the other. Though so close to the point of creation, the son refused to call upon God for help with conflict and deal with his anger.

God didn’t give up on His creation and gives practical help in Proverbs for anger. We have a choice about dealing with our human unpleasant emotions. We can choose destruction or act wisely motivated by trust in God.

Proverbs Teaches Us to Stop Stirring Up Our Anger

There is much practical instruction in Proverbs but let’s focus on one verse:

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses” (Proverbs 10:12 ESV).

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. ~ Proverbs 10:12 (ESV) #anger Share on X

What an important and powerful word picture giving us insights about anger toward others. It contrasts two reactions. One is godly and the other is ungodly. We can “stir up” wounds or “cover” them with love and understanding, thus no longer being held in bondage by them.

If we choose to “stir up,” we put the spoon of rehearsing hurts and misunderstandings into a pot of boiling mud and grime. Then we stir, stir, and stir causing any moisture of grace and mercy to evaporate. Then the mass solidifies into a hardened brick.

It’s harder to resist throwing a hardened brick formed by bitterness and resentment after such rehearsing—such “stirring.” We are easily tempted to hurl it at the offending party when she seems to be responding in hurtful ways. Or we think we feel better about ourselves by stacking brick after brick, building a wall of separation and distrust.

Stir Up or Cover Up

On the other hand, “covering” up is like taking the lid of that pot, securing it on top and throwing away the spoon. The lid represents the forgiveness Jesus secured for us, which we did not earn nor deserve. We recognize how much we have been forgiven and must humbly apply it toward others.

No longer can we see the attractiveness of the boiling anger or have something to stir it with. Then we can gladly take the covered pot and throw it all away. No longer are we stirring up and focusing on the hurt from others, but we are focused on how God values us. Then we don’t need to react in anger to protect our image, reputation, or the way we are perceived or our goals are being blocked. What freedom and joy!

We can also ask ourselves, how am I stirring up my anger and bitterness by rehearsing the faults or hurtful reactions of others? How can I “cover up” with love by remembering something loving or kind they did? Is God calling me to trust His love is sufficient by risking loving that person unconditionally?

Add your thoughts here.

Description: Heart Wisdom: Daughters of the King Bible Study Seriesby Kathy Collard Miller is a women’s write-in Bible study on Proverbs. Ten lessons explore ten different topics addressed in the biblical book of Proverbs including words, anger/conflict, marriage/parenting, The Proverbs 31 Woman, relationships, correction, money, trusting God, pride/humility, and love/hatred. Along with meaningful questions, Kathy offers insightful commentary, a section on women of the Bible and a touching “Letter from God.”

To order Heart Wisdomor find out more information, go here:


Twitter: @KathyCMiller


Instagram: KathyCollardMiller


Kathy Collard Miller is amazed at God’s plan in leading her into ministry over 40 years ago after He delivered her from being a child abuser and healing her marriage. She has over 55 books published and has spoken in over 35 US states and 8 foreign countries. She and her husband married in 1970 and minister together as lay counselors, writers and speakers. They live in Southern California and love being parents and grandparents.

Photo by Justin Owens on Unsplash

We participate in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites. This doesn’t add any cost to the purchase.

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  1. J.D. Wininger

    Well said Ms. Kathy. Thank you for sharing this important Word with us today. Anger is the one emotion I struggle with the most I think. I keep praying for God to help me learn more self-control. Of course, to receive a gift, we must be willing to allow Him to grow into who we need to be so it can achieve its full growth. That’s where the hard work comes in. God’s blessings ma’am; and I’ll be sure to look for your study on Proverbs. One of the first books of the Bible I encourage new Christians to read.

    • Debbie Wilson

      J.D. I think goal-oriented people may struggle with one type of anger. God has mellowed me, but I still get frustrated when I keep getting interrupted.

    • Kathy Collard Miller

      J.D., thanks for your vulnerable sharing. We all can relate. I”m also still in process in this area. Just ask my husband. LOL Yet, praise the Lord, He has done so much. Always a treat to hear from you, J.D.

  2. Melissa Henderson

    I have learned over the years that praying first helps me deal with anger. I am comforted when I share with Him.

    • Kathy Collard Miller

      Amen, Melissa. Absolutely true. That is the key, isn’t it? Thank you for that reminder.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Melissa, journaling helps me process my feeling with God. that is like praying because I invite God into my thoughts..

  3. Miriam

    Focusing on God and relying on His justice is really the way to stop stirring anger, bitterness and even revenge. Thank you for sharing.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Agreed. Thanks, Miriam.

    • Kathy Collard Miller

      I so appreciate you stopping by, Miriam, and for your comments. Fabulous idea of knowing God is just and it’s up to him to protect and intervene for righteousness. Thank you!

  4. Julie Lavender

    This is a powerful and thought-provoking statement: “If we choose to “stir up,” we put the spoon of rehearsing hurts and misunderstandings into a pot of boiling mud and grime.” Thanks for the reminders and helpful hints.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Julie, that caught my attention too.

  5. Candyce

    Sounds like a wonderful Bible Study! Thanks for sharing.

    • Debbie Wilson

      Candyce, thanks so much for reading. Blessings.

  6. Lucy Barmes

    I, too, find doing a journal puts things in a better light and outs me closer to God

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