Debbie W. Wilson

Refreshing Faith

Is “If You Can’t Say Something Nice…” Biblical?

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Have you heard, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?” While this adage provides a reminder to not gossip, is it biblical?

Our family met a delightful woman in Switzerland who offered to show us around. We traveled in two cars. I rode with our new friend, and my family followed. Instead of raving about the beauty of the Swiss Alps my companion began to sing the praises of the person who’d maligned our family and other Christian leaders.

I couldn’t believe it.

Thousands of miles away from home and I had to listen to someone unwittingly praise my enemy. And worse, she encouraged others to follow this deceitful leader. Having been raised on the above adage, I prayed as I went back and forth on how to respond.Continue Reading

How to Rebuild Broken Trust

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“How can we mend our relationship if you won’t trust me?”

“How can I trust you when you continue to lie to me?”

Have you ever had such a conversation? For example, the spouse, reconciling with an erring mate, wants to trust, but can s/he? Mistrust smears gray over a relationship that used to glow with cheerful color. If only you could trust and bring back the joy.

If you’ve forgiven someone, but can’t trust him or her, you’re not alone. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues.

If you’ve forgiven someone, but can’t trust him or her, you’re not alone. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues. #trust Click To Tweet

Forgiveness is between us and God. The culprit doesn’t have to change for us to forgive. Trust, on the other hand, requires change (Proverb 25:19). Here are some tips to guide you.

Use Discernment

If you weren’t already in a relationship with this person, with your current knowledge, would you trust them? Would you encourage your children to hang out with someone of their character?Continue Reading

How to Move Forward—After You Forgive

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You forgave, but they never apologized or changed. How do you treat them going forward? How do you handle someone you’ve forgiven but don’t trust? What do you do when you want a healthy relationship, but they don’t?

When we think someone is wrong, we want to help them see the light, change their ways—and stop hurting us! We prefer handling someone else to corralling our own impulses and strong emotions. But God didn’t give us the power to transform them. The Holy Spirit produces self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

We only frustrate ourselves when we focus on changing someone else. It is better to accept responsibility for what we can manage—ourselves.

We’ve worked our way through the process of forgiveness by spelling FREEDOM. The M in FREEDOM stands for: Manage yourself.Continue Reading

When You Have to Forgive Again

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I merrily pumped our backyard seesaw oblivious to any hazard. My small foot slipped, and the rusty edge of the pedal carved a long, jagged gouge across my right ankle. Pain seared through me like a lightning bolt. I didn’t think it could get worse—until my mother appeared with soap, water, and a bottle of red mercurochrome.

The first cleaning was the worst. But my wound continued to weep after it was bandaged. This wound had to be cleaned over and over again.

In our forgiveness series, we’re spelling Freedom. The O in FREEDOM stands for Over and Over.

Forgiveness Cleans Our Wounds

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