At a young age, my talented son showed signs of perfectionistic thinking. He once brought home a paper from kindergarten covered in scribbles. At the top, his teacher had drawn a sad face in red ink. Beneath the scribbles, I could see he’d answered every question correctly—except the last one, which he’d left blank. Because he didn’t know one answer, he discounted all the ones he got right.
I’ve let perfectionism sabotage me too. I wanted to polish my insights before sharing them. The problem is: when are they good enough? In college, I skipped activities I could have enjoyed because I feared I might not be good enough. I wrestled with decisions, afraid I’d make a mistake.
Perfectionism robs the world of our gifts and robs us of the joy of living and learning. Even worse is when we carry this diseased mindset into our faith.
We transfer onto God the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves, believing He’s harshly grading our performance. We create standards to measure our spiritual progress—but even when we reach them, we still see only our faults. We miss out on the joy of knowing God, and our self-absorption robs Him of the joy of our fellowship.
Good News for Believers
The apostle Paul shattered the idea of a perfectionist’s faith. He saw the Gospel as “the power of God to bring salvation to both Greeks and barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish” (Romans 1:14 NASB). In other words, neither our performance nor our pedigree, our knowledge nor our ignorance, can hinder God’s power to make us right with Him. True righteousness comes by faith.
“For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile.
This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, ‘It is through faith that a righteous person has life’”
(Romans 1:16–17 NLT).
In The Book of Mysteries, Jonathan Cahn illustrates this truth by asking:
In a race, which runner will win?
The one who is strong and only runs perfect races—or the one who stumbles often but keeps getting back up?
His answer: the clumsy runner.
“The first runner runs only perfect races. Once he falls, it’s no longer a perfect race. His race is over… So the winner is not the best runner, but the one who crosses the finish line.”
How many of us, like my kindergartener, quit our race at the first stumble?
So, dear friend, are we in the race to win—or to prove ourselves?
Are we running to impress others, to avoid embarrassment, or to earn some group’s or person’s approval?
Or are we running by faith, embracing God’s grace, and rebounding after each stumble?
Paul gave up his legalistic righteousness to receive right standing with God that comes only by faith in Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:2–11). This new righteousness not only freed him—but changed the world.
The pursuit of excellence inspires growth and learning.
But the demand for perfection leads to burnout and robs us of joy.
“I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith”
(Philippians 3:9 NLT).
Let’s choose faith—not perfectionism—to guide our race. Only faith leads to God’s “Well done!”
What has perfectionism kept you from doing—or enjoying—in your life or faith?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s encourage one another to run free in grace.
Blessings,
Resources to Build Your Faith
Sometimes I link to these great sites:
#MondayLinkUp #InstaEncouragements, #TellHisStory, #Let’sHaveCoffee, #Grace&Truth
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So we’ll put and helpful, Debbie!
Thank you, Paula. Hope you’re doing well.
Oh, my. I could relate to everything you just said. Thank you for this encouragement and reminder today.
Thank you, Ashley. Perfectionism is certainly a thief.
I can strongly relate – I can look back and see the same true of me. My younger son, also when he was in kindergarten, came home upset because they were learning to right their names with the first letter capitalized and he messed it up. He said the teacher said, shame on you (???!!!) so he wanted to write his name the right way 10 times to prove to her he could. My heart broke! I told him he doesn’t have to prove anything to her or anyone else. He insisted on writing his name and I took it in to her that afternoon when I went to pick up his brother and set her straight!
Why do these people become teachers?? Good for you in showing them both the truth!
I believe God has told me to speak/teach and I’m more comfortable with writing— not that I’ve never spoken. I believe He means for me to do short clips on social media. I’ve tried it a few times, and it just didn’t seem to work.
Gina, I can certainly relate. I wish we could skip the learning curve and start with all the confidence and knowledge that comes from years of experience!
The building of our faith, not the exhausting pursuit of perfectionism. Thank You, Jesus, for making this all possible.
Amen!!
I wrestled with perfectionism for a long time, but didn’t realize that’s what it was. I was just constantly frustrated with my sin nature and faults and failures and stumbles. I knew that salvation was based on Christ’s righteousness and merits, not my own–but it took a long time to realize my walk with Him was based on His perfection as well. If He knows our frame and that we’re made of dust, we need to understand the same about ourselves. So many verses helped me was one was about being “accepted in the beloved.”
I wasted so much time striving for perfection. I’ve learned to accept who I am in Christ. Thanks Debbie.